Tall Femme: You Are On a Smoke Date, Dandelion! | Autostraddle

Calling all Homoganjas! Let us talk about anything and everything Marijuana connected, from legalization to pop culture to learning to make your very own bong utilizing a package of Diva cups and a broken lamp.

Whether you are a newbie who willn’t know a blunt from a shared, or you’re making plans for your homosexual fantasy marriage to Mary Jane, this column is for you. Puff, Puff, Pass.

Header by
Rory Midhani

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It is Friday evening. Or Monday night. Maybe it really is Tuesday mid-day. I’m not sure lifetime. But that lady you’ve been swooning over is on the woman means over right here. You are sure that, the one who allows you to notice pressures of “Closer” in your mind once you glance at the girl? she actually is coming more than for a hangout. And she’s taking an eighth of OG Kush. For you personally to placed on on a clean shirt and wash that bong, since you’re on a smoke big date, Dandelion!

Smoke dates have many advantages. Certainly, you’re comfortable enough in both’s organization to participate in semi-illegal tasks with each other (unless you reside a progressive condition and are usually a card-carrying healthcare marijuana individual). Also, she does not worry about spending long expanses of time to you. There isn’t any such thing as a “quick weed split.” Toking up is, by definition, a time-intensive process. You’ve got the shameful small-talk, the initial spark upwards, the passing around regarding the items before these are typically cashed completely. Then you have the high alone, that’ll normally ground you for at least an hour or so, according to the strain/tolerance. After that obviously, there’s the procurement of munchies, and eating of said munchies. After that probably another joint/blunt/bowl. We’re chatting a great four to five attacks of

Futurama

right here, very get comfy. This could get awhile. But another person desires invest that much time along with you! High five!

Songs

Initially, turn off the Bob Marley. This isn’t Freshman season. We know whom shot the sheriff and the deputy too. Simply perform some thing mellow inside history or spin
Carmen’s blend for puffing
.

Talk About

+ Cigarette. What you’re puffing. The place you first got it. The manner in which you tend to be smoking it. What your choices tend to be.

+ ANY SUCH THING pop music culture connected. Please expound in your concepts of Leisha Hailey’s Yoplait commercial, the tragic termination of Bomb women, or who the bang A is. Since it is gotta be Aria, correct? After all, think about it.

+ Conspiracy theories! High individuals are attracted to conspiracy concepts like moths to a dubious fire. Is neighborhood 51 an alien think tank? Include Illuminati working United States Apparel? Tend to be Tegan and Sara Quin ALIKE PERSON?

Usually Do Not Talk About

+ Complicated geopolitical issues. Is it possible to end up being articulate towards worldwide economic crisis when you are tripping ovaries? If you do not’re an Aaron Sorkin figure, the answer isn’t any. It took you twenty minutes to figure out how much cash to advice the pizza distribution man. Decrease your own roll.

+ upsetting personal stories. It’s awesome you want to open up doing this individual. However now is not necessarily the finest time. Significant tales are for sober moments, and you want their own full focus on always’re in a secure space. Also, no one desires to harsh their hype.

Suggested Watching

Too Cute! Puppies

is a genuine show that prevails because America. It’s just puppies playing around. It really is essentially exactly what performs in my head-on a constant circle as I zone away. It really is most likely the greatest thing that has had actually existed actually.

Cartoons:

Simpsons

,

Futurama

,

Household Chap

,

Bob’s Burgers

,

Archer

(Pam!).

Youtube films of kitties. SIMPLE ENOUGH.

Honorable Mentions

The greatest Beyonce follower video of them all.

I favor this video a whole lot I would like to wed it. I’d like it playing within the shipment area whenever I birth my youngsters. I would like it playing on a hard and fast circle back at my tombstone like an eternal fire. This video clip completes myself.

More information: quickflirting.com

The Sole Party Trick You Need

Ah, enough time honored practice of shotgunning aka the hit right back. It really is silly, it’s sensuous plus it gets the mouth area in really close distance to the woman mouth. Shotgunning is a gateway medicine to making out. Your own fundamental shotgun is where individual A inhales and breathes the smoking into Person B’s mouth. Quite straightforward.

Now let’s talk about the higher level tobacco user: individual {A|thea requires the combined (CAUTION: this only works with a combined!) and throws the lighted end in their mouth area. Person B after that sucks on the other side conclusion while Person A blows. It’s the effect of creating Person the seem like a fearless, fire-swallowing badass. Just don’t eat the burning end, children. Some of us learned that the hard way.

Last But Not Least

Make sure to stay safe. Smoke in your restrictions. Do not pressure the go out or feel pressured to smoke cigarettes over you need to. Cannabis permission is sensuous. And make certain we have all a safe drive house and a soft place to crash. Because stoned cuddles? A kind of cuddles.